


The Best Rumbelle Fic... In The World

by JunoInferno



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: AU, Crack, F/M, Humor, Rumbelle - Freeform, i don't think this is the best rumbelle fic in the world, that's just a joke from the show, top gear au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-18
Updated: 2016-01-21
Packaged: 2018-04-05 01:41:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4160832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JunoInferno/pseuds/JunoInferno
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Presenter Killian Jones leaves Top Gear amid a scandal that made international headlines and led to a full BBC inquiry. Desperate to save the most popular motoring program... in the world, producer Regina Mills hires popular Top Gear Australia presenter, Belle French. Can presenter Angus Gold do his job or will he be distracted by his feelings for his new co-presenter? Will Regina be able to keep the show going despite constant interference from BBC executive Zelena Green? Will anyone discover presenter David Nolan's dark secret? Who is the Stig?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello. This is meant to be a fun, crack verse based on the BBC motoring program, Top Gear. If you're not familiar with it, three middle-aged men destroy things, annoy each other, piss off lots of people and sometimes there's a bit about cars. It is on Hulu if you're interested, though I don't think you'll need a full knowledge of Top Gear to enjoy it. Please let me know what you think and happy reading! Also, I don't think it's the best Rumbelle fic in the world, it's something they say on the show a lot.

  
It was a dreary, rainy day in London when Angus Gold went to Broadcasting House to meet with Top Gear executive producer, Regina Mills. They had not spoken in person since the incident that occurred while filming the Christmas special in Mongolia.

The challenge had been to drive some late model sports cars that the presenters had all spoken highly of in previous reviews to see if they could make it across the forbidding and distant terrain of Mongolia. In this case, Regina and the other producers selected them for maximum suffering.  It had been an exhausting shoot, camping out every night on the plains, surviving on tinned beans and the occasional bit of yak offered by welcoming locals and of course the cars had broken down every bloody ten miles. Gold had the worst of it with a Lancia Prisma he’d reviewed in the eighties.

In an uncharacteristic display of teamwork probably brought on by delirium, David and Killian had stopped to help him when two of the Lancia’s struts had sheered off as they had most likely been put on with a mixture of cello tape and pixie dust. Gold had been trying to coax one of the engine cylinders back into life on the front end. Something slipped and the rear of the car ended up crushing Killian’s hand.

Somewhere in the midst of his anguished screams and swearing like a pirate, it came out that Killian had been sleeping with Gold’s then wife, Milah.

And that was when the cane came out.

The show was suspended. The BBC had a huge inquiry. It wasn’t just the British tabloids that had a field day. Top Gear was the most watched motoring program... in the world. It had made international news. All while Killian announced his departure from Top Gear. In a program with a long history of controversy, it had hit a new high, a rather dubious distinction. Regina now faced the task of saving the program and she had come up with a unique solution.

That Gold immediately hated.

“No, dearie, absolutely not.”

Regina narrowed her eyes at Gold as she sat across her desk. “You’re lucky to still have a job with the BBC. Some of your predecessors have lost their jobs for much less.”

“The inquiry found no evidence of wrongdoing.”

“As I said, you were lucky.”

“Or perhaps, dearie, the great British Broadcasting Corporation realize they need this pokey little motoring program to keep turning a profit, especially with the Tories looking for every pound of flesh. So you need me.”

Regina crossed her arms. “We’re bringing in the new presenter. The show doesn’t work without three.”

Gold tsked with disdain. “Alright. Who is it this time? Some washed up touring car driver? A has been news presenter who’s been stuck selling fish at Morrison’s?”

Regina ignored his quips. “Actually, it’s someone who’s proved very popular with the Top Gear audience.”

He narrowed his eyes. “And who might that be? You can’t have brought back Clarkson, Hammond or May.”

“No. It’s Belle French.”

“What?”

Belle French was the popular presenter of Top Gear Australia. Last year when the presenters of BBC Top Gear challenged their Aussie counterparts to a rematch of a motoring based Ashes, she had been the breakout star when the episode aired. She had a bright, decidedly optimistic persona and her knowledge of cars was impeccable. Not to mention her short skirts and impossibly high shoes.

That may or may not have been to blame for Gold losing his focus during one of the events, though he would sooner die than admit it.

Perhaps two events...

“What is wrong with Belle French?”

“She’ll distract from the motoring.”

It was the first thing that came out of his mouth, but he knew it to be a lame excuse in consideration of the fact that the program he was talking about was Top Gear.

“Right, because all our audience care about is cars. That explains your road test of a Fiat 500 inside a school.”

He shook his head. “That was a test of maneuverability.” 

“Let me be blunt, we got a lot of new viewers during Killian’s tenure who all shared a certain demographic.”

Gold scoffed, well-remembering the sudden increase of viewers in search of eye candy tuning in to Top Gear. His own wife among them much to his dismay.

“And I want to try and keep that demographic,” said Regina. “And at the same time, maybe we can show them a strong, capable woman. God knows they aren’t tuning in for you.”

Gold tried to think through the sudden turn into identity politics with what he remembered from a BBC seminar he’d been forced to attend.

“You want to put a role model on Top Gear?”

It was clearly a concept that had never been contemplated, but he could tell from the satisfied look on her face Regina was proud of herself.

“Yes, I want to prove women are just as capable of blowing up cars as men. Belle has quite the following of her own in Australia, men and women.”

“Then why would she possibly want to come here?”

“I didn’t ask any questions, I’m just glad she’s willing.”

“And I don’t suppose there’s anything I can do to change your mind?”

Regina considered this.

“No.”

And on that bombshell, the meeting was over.

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

“Dad!”

Gold looked up from the laptop. He was in the middle of writing his latest newspaper column about the latest stupidity in subsidizing electric cars. Bae came into the office.

“You’re going to have a girl on the show?”

“I am certain she would prefer woman or female motoring journalist or...” He shook his head. “Sod it. I don’t know what she would prefer.”

He resumed typing for a moment, then stopped and turned to his son.

“How did you know that?”

“It’s on Twitter. Everyone knows.”

Gold turned back to his computer and opened a browser window.

She was trending. The BBC had put out an announcement and now she was getting congratulations from everyone in the British media proclaiming the “historic” move.

“Bloody hell, it’s a car show...” he muttered to himself.

Then he saw he had been betrayed. 

“Can girls drive fast cars?”

“Of course they can. Don’t you have homework? You clearly have some brushing up to do. For God’s sake, son, if the Brummie Nolan can drive, any woman certainly can.”

“Fine...” Bae groaned as he wandered out.

Gold decided to call the Brummie and have a conversation with him.

“You utter arse!”

“I was just trying to be nice!”

“You could have bloody warned me!”

“I was just on there and saw she was on! It’s not like I had some great plan!”

“That I can well believe.”

“You can go on there now and welcome her.”

“How is that going to look, welcoming her hours after you did?”

“Well, you have to say something. People are already wondering why you haven’t.”

Gold refreshed his Twitter mentions. He had his share of detractors before the Mongolian incident and they were still waiting for him to slip up. Not properly welcoming his new female co-presenter would certainly fall under that umbrella particularly after his live tweeting the hell he’d gone through earlier getting supper delivered.

He would have to say something.

He went to Belle’s Twitter page. He scrolled back forever to get through her thanking people and found some of her previous posts.

From the selfies she posted, it seemed as if she was getting on a plane to London any moment and had an array of pictures at goodbye dinners with friends.

And her last trip to the beach.

Gold almost knocked over the bloody laptop. The last thing he needed was a mental image of the new presenter in a blue bikini. It was bad enough those legs were going to be across from him on the sofa during the news segment.

Oh, bloody hell.

Regaining his faculties, Gold realized he still needed to say something.

He typed and retyped and nothing felt right. He took out the notepad he had scribbled on for the electric cars column. The desk was covered in crumpled scraps before he had something he was somewhat satisfied with.

_Welcome to @BBCTopGear, @BelleFrench! Lovely to have you onboard. It’ll be better than being stuck with @DavidNolan1 at any rate._

He waited and waited. He checked Bae’s Maths and she still hadn’t replied. He put Bae to bed. No answer. After two Scotches, he went back to Twitter refreshing her page and her mentions.

And they were disgusting. Death threats, men leering at the bikini photo (alright he might have lingered but he had enough common sense not to put it on Twitter) and several suggesting she host a program about porn.

Suddenly it seemed like a perfectly reasonable idea to respond to them.

_Why doesn’t @BelleFrench host a porn show instead?_

_@MRActivist111 Why don’t you move out of your mum’s spare room. You might actually see a pair of tits other than when you take your shirt off._

  
_Hope u crash u slag! Nobody replaces @KillJones77!_

_@KillyPrincess Hope u finish 6th form & learn some fucking manners._

_@BelleFrench show us the topless one! #aussiebabesrule_

_@GnarlyCharly I believe the site you want is imawankerandwillbealoneforeverwonlymylefthandforcompany.co.uk Cheers!_

Finally putting his mobile on the charger, pleased with a job well done, he fell asleep.

The next morning he stirred when Mrs. Potts arrived to wake Bae up. He found that @KillyPrincess had replied to him, proclaiming that she had finished 6th form and was now at St. Andrew’s. He found a text from Regina telling him to never respond to Twitter trolls again and an email from BBC Human Resources with a copy of the BBC’s Social Media Policy. Would he please read the attached, sign and fax back the signature page?

He found several small online articles chronicling Belle’s welcome into Top Gear along with normally hostile journalists commending him.

No reply from Belle, though.

In the middle of his web browsing, his mobile rang.

“Hullo?”

“Angus?”

“Who’s this?”

“Belle?” There was a momentary pause. “Belle French?”

“Oh, right. Sorry. How are you?”

“Good. I hope you don’t mind. I got your number from Regina.”

“I don’t mind.”

“Anyway, I just saw your tweet and I wanted to say thank you.”

“Oh? That? That’s nothing.”

“No, really, I do appreciate it. I was on a flight from Sydney and the plane’s wifi went out on the plane after the Abu Dhabi leg.” She paused. “Though I see your internet worked fine.” 

“Oh that. That was...”

“That was what?”

He sighed. “I might have had a drink.”

“Oh, really? Sorry, Angus, I have to go. Immigration wants to chat about my visa again.” She paused. “Anyway, thank you. It’s good to know you have my back.”

He shrugged though she couldn’t see. “What are co-presenters for?”

“I can’t wait to work with you.”

She hung up.

And on that bombshell, Angus decided to take a cold shower. 


	3. Chapter 3

The new Koenigsegg One had finally arrived at the Top Gear test track. It had been difficult to get with the company only producing eighty that retailed at around 1.2 million pounds each, but it was finally here ready for Gold’s power test and the Stig’s timed lap. 

Gold walked around it, eyeing the megacar. It was a thing of beauty and had hit a top speed of 273 miles per hour.. It was in fact the fastest car… in the world with an acceleration of naught to 186 miles per hour in 17.95 seconds.  He was quite pleased with how understated it looked in comparison to other supercars. God knew his former co-presenter Killian was a fan of only the most garish vehicles like the Lamborghini Veneno. David didn’t really have much a sense of style, either, attracted as he was to American muscle cars. Honestly, the man owned a Dodge Viper. What was that even about? 

Gold briefly wondered at his new co-presenter’s sartorial leanings. He had only done a little research, making one of the production assistants pull the Top Gear Australia DVDs. Belle didn’t do power laps, he wondered if she was a slow driver. She seemed to eschew supercars, proclaiming of one of the Zondas shown on the news segment that she would never date a man with one, cheekily saying anyone who owned one was sure to leave her unsatisfied. 

He had a fleeting thought that he was glad to have never purchased a Zonda and quickly dismissed it. 

Regina soon joined him on the track. 

“So, what do you think of it, Gold?”

“I like the look of it very much. I wonder about the ride quality, though. Where are the keys?” 

“Belle’s going to do the power test in the series premiere.” 

“What? Regina, I’ve been waiting to review this car!” 

“I want the audience to get to know her straightaway,” the producer reasoned. 

“They can’t do that in the news? Or her own bloody segment?” 

“It’s not like you’re not getting any segments this episode, Gold.” 

“And what is it I’ll be doing?” 

“A road test of the new Kia Pro Ceed.” 

He guffawed. “You’re joking. A Kia?!” 

“We all decided on it for the new Reasonably Priced Car. You love a hot hatch.” 

“It is not a hot hatch.” 

“Which you can go through in your road test.” 

To Gold’s dismay, he soon saw his new co-presenter bouncing out on her platform shoes to join them. 

“Hello, Angus. I didn’t realize you’d be here.” She looked at the car. “Well, that’s a beauty. Want to take it for a spin?” 

“That was what I had been hoping to do…” 

“Oh, great!” He now saw she dangled the keys from her hand. “I’ll take the first lap, yeah?” 

“That’s a great idea,” proclaimed Regina. She looked back at Gold. “It’ll give you two a chance to get to know each other.” 

Belle grinned and they got behind the wheel. Gold shot a glare at Regina and got in the passenger side as she buckled in. He couldn’t help but notice her bare shapely legs and what was on the end of them. 

“Are you going to wear those?”

“What?” She looked at the heels. “Oh, I always wear heels. I wouldn’t know how to drive without them.”

“Five inch heels and the fastest car in the world? Health and Safety will have a field day with that.” 

She smiled at him. “Angus, I have the feeling there’s a lot of things that we won’t be telling Health and Safety about.” 

Belle winked. 

And on that bombshell, Belle slammed the gas and sped onto the straightaway. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't recommend driving the Koenigsegg One in Belle's heels. (Health and Safety made me say that.)


	4. Chapter 4

Angus managed to pass the next week without seeing Belle. They all had to make their separate films after all. Angus had his Kia film to make, Nolan had to sell fish and Belle was on a bit of a media tour, but today the situation was critical. The trio were to do their first film together. This was make or break, the heart of Top Gear lay in the chemistry between the three presenters.

  
“You didn’t much like Killian, did you?”

Angus looked at Belle. The cameras weren’t rolling quite yet. David wasn’t there and they had yet to get their challenge from the producers.

Belle tilted her head. “I mean, even before the business with your wife, I mean, even if that’s true, which is really not my business-”

“Well, it’s the business of the Daily Mail’s readership so I don’t see why you would be excluded.”

“Sorry.” Belle shrugged. “It’s just chemistry is a huge part of this, isn’t it? When new Top Gear came back, even if those three didn’t like each other, you knew they had a lot of affection for one another.”

Angus nodded. “Do yourself a favor. Don’t look for the fanfic.”

Belle snorted loudly. “Is that how you spend your spare time? Fanboying over Clarkson, Hammond and May?”

Angus shook his head. “Someone tweeted me a link. It was a mistake to click on it.”

“So?”

He took a breath. “Well, the business with my now ex-wife is true and no, I didn’t like him before that. He’s always been too sure of himself to me. And two-faced, nice to pretty girls, not so nice to anyone he can’t get something from.”

“Whereas you just hate everyone.”

He nodded. “I’m very equal opportunity.”

Belle smiled. “Well, I like you.”

That little revelation hit Angus like a piano on a Morris Marina, but David had just arrived and Regina was eager to get the shoot started. The filming began with them standing around the Top Gear track and then following them as they saw what the producers had in store which was a bit ridiculous.

A Peel P50, a Volkswagen Jetta and some sort of pick up truck monstrosity drove onto the track. The producer in the white coat handed Angus the envelope.

“What do they want us to do with that?,” mused David.

Angus opened the envelope. “The producers have decided you should end the debate on what sized car is best by putting you through a series of challenges. First, you will drive to the center of the capitol...”

David nodded. “Okay, so I’ll take the truck thing...”

Angus shook his head. “You are such an American.”

David looked irked. “I keep telling you. I’m not American!”

“Even Belle knows you’re an American and she’s only just gotten here. Besides, it’s not up to you. The producers have decided she gets the truck and you get the Peel P50.”

“What?!,” David exclaimed.

Belle giggled as incensed, David took the envelope from his co-presenter.

“How am I going to even get in there?,” asked David.

“We’ll help,” Belle said cheerfully.

“Gee, thanks.”

They then went to watch the spectacle of David trying to cram all six foot one of him into a car that was better sized for the garden at a nursery school. He currently had one leg in and was trying to bring in his torso.

“Maybe if you open that window you can use your arm to pull the rest of yourself in,” Belle advised.

“Why don’t you try?,” David grumbled.

“Well, I could get in, but I don’t think my handbag could fit with me,” she theorized.

Eventually, David took Belle’s advice and managed to get in, asking Angus to shut the door for him.

Now it was time for Belle to get in the truck, a monstrosity called the Ford F750. The bottom of the door fell somehwere around her torso and she was wondering how she might go about getting in.

“Is it unlocked?,” Belle mused, looking for a running board that just wasn’t there.

“We could always ask David to help, but then we’d have to get him back in the P50,” said Angus.

Hopping up, Belle managed to get close enough to the door handle to unlatch it and then push it open the rest of the way to shove her handbag in. She then began trying to look for a way to leverage herself into the cab of the truck.

Angus then once again found himself very aware of Belle’s short skirt and that the camera crew was filming everything. The last thing he needed was to be seen ogling the new female co-presenter in their very first shoot together. He ought to treat as if she was one of the male presenters or better yet, Killian. What would he have done if Killian was trying to get in this monster?

“Right, I’ll leave you to it then...”

“What did you say, Angus?”

She turned and one of her too high heels slipped. Angus turned back just in time to catch her as she fell from the cab. He was holding her when they hit the tarmac.

She looked stunned to see him there.

“Thank you.”

“No matter...” Angus answered, coughing as he got back to his feet. “You know, maybe we could get a small ladder or something...”

“Well, that or you could keep catching me,” said Belle.

And on that bombshell, it was time to send a production assistant to find a ladder.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the rating went up because the fandom needed car smut. Also, Anonymous prompted Belle getting angry about losing a competition and Gold finding it adorable. Two for one. Happy reading!

“You utter arse.”

Gold turned back to see Belle storming into his trailer. It had been a long day at the track in competing hatchbacks. The shoot had ended with him in the lead as dusk fell much to the chagrin of his co-presenters.

“I beg your pardon?”

She pointed at him. “You cut me off in the bloody lap!”

“It was a race,” he said incredulously. “I was trying to win. Something you ought to have taken better note of.”

She edged closer. “I had it. You just couldn’t handle it.”

She was furious and frankly, Gold couldn’t help but find it adorable. The snarl she tried to have reminded him a bit of a chipmunk. Belle closed the distance between them and suddenly, the amusement of her anger was gone. He found himself more concerned with the way she was pressing up against him.

“You’re an arse,” she hissed.

“So I’ve been told...” Gold replied trying to think about anything but her pert breasts.

“Shut up,” Belle snarled.

Suddenly, her hands were in his hair, pulling his head towards her. She pressed her lips to his and hesitated a moment before sending her tongue to press against the seam of his lips. He opened his mouth and let her frantically explore while he just let her.

She broke off with hooded eyes. “Well, that’s better isn’t it, Gold?”

“Yes.”

“I’ve been wanting to do that a while.”

“You have?,” he asked in shock.

Belle bit her lip and nodded at him. “Don’t act like you’re not used to it.”

“Well, it wasn’t a problem with the last presenter and Nolan hasn’t made a move...”

“His loss,” said Belle, kissing him again.

Gold took a more active role this time, pulling her closer to him and running his hands down to her taut rear. She returned the favor squeezing his backside through the jeans he had worn for the day’s shoot.

“I’ve wanted to do that, too,” she said.

“Anything else you’ve been wanting to do?”

She smiled and nodded, kissing him again. They continued this until there was a knock on the door.

“Angus?,” asked David.

“Bollocks...” Gold muttered.

“I’ll go out the back,” Belle whispered. “Meet me in the Bentley.”

Before he could ask why the Bentley, she was gone and David was in, trying to switch a shoot day so he could promote one of the other programs he did when Top Gear wasn’t filming.

By the time Nolan was finally gone, it was completely dark. Most of the crew were gone as Gold went down the rows of the car park where the vehicles for test drives and their own creations were kept. He tried in vain to remember where the Bentley Flying Spur was and a rear door popped open in front of him.

He looked down. He had been standing next to the bloody thing. Belle grinned at him from the backseat.

“Well, don’t just stand there...”

He ducked down into the car and shut the door. Belle immediately greeted him by kissing him again. He found himself caressing her bare legs.

“Weren’t you wearing leggings?,” he asked.

“You noticed.”

“I always notice.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” she mused, kissing him again. “Unless this wasn’t what you...”

“No.” He wanted to cut off any sense of reticence on his part. “Unless you...”

“Oh, Angus, you have no idea how much I want this...”

He chuckled. “I doubt I do.”

She faced him squarely. “I always found you attractive, but when we came for the Ashes and I got a good look at you in person...” Belle smiled. “Well, you were married and I guess you became my secret. My dirty little secret fantasy...”

He had to say something to keep himself from losing it so he did. “That’s not why you took the job, is it?”

She rolled her eyes and he knew it was the wrong thing.

“As gorgeous as your ass is, I did not move continents because I might get a chance at shagging you.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“Hey, I’m not passing up the chance, you know?” She smiled. “It was time for a change, you know? Change is good.”

He chuckled ruefully. “I’ve never felt that way.”

She tilted her head. “Well, I’ll show you...’

Belle moved to straddle his lap and he brought his hands to her thighs, smoothing his way up her silky skin and finding that she was quite bare. His eyes went wide at the discovery and he felt himself getting hard.

“Don’t change this shirt, though,” she said undoing the white button up, shoving it off him. “Unless you’ve got a closet full of them or something. You always wear this on shoot days.”

She kissed him on the mouth again, then moved down to kiss the spot where his neck met his shoulder. Gold struggled to regain some sense, after all, he couldn’t just sit there with a beautiful woman grinding against his lap, just his jeans between them.

He needed a plan.

He started by running his hands up her thigh again and kneading into the flesh of her perky bottom. She moaned into his touch and ground herself harder which was very distracting as he tried to think of another plan.

The dress. It had to go. He moved his hand up to the zipper.

“May I?”

She smiled and nodded at him. He unzipped and she moved to pull it over her head.

“Lot of headroom in here,” he remarked left staring at her lacy black bra.

“I’ll be sure to mention that in my film,” said Belle.

“Don’t know if they’ll allow that before the watershed...”

“You mean you don’t know if they’ll allow this...” Belle reached behind her and unclasped her bra, tossing it to join the growing pile.

“That’s definitely not getting past management...” he sputtered. “You’re bloody gorgeous. Do you know that? Of course you do, not that-”

“It’s nice to hear it,” she cut him off.

He leaned forward to take one of her nipples in his mouth, causing her to mew. He took her other breast in hand, rolling the nipple between his fingers and switched sides.

“Mmm, Angus, you’re gonna drive me mad...’ She reached between them for the button of his jeans, dipping her hand under the waistband of his boxers. He fell from his task, head falling back as his eyes rolled back into his skull.

He was definitely failing at this. He was a mess, losing concentration as she cupped him. How long had it been? Trying to sort that out almost brought him back to reality until Belle kissed his Adam’s apple.

“Oh, Angus, you feel so good...” she kissed his way back up to his lips. “But I’m afraid I need your help for the next part...”

“What?”

“I need you to lift that cute arse of yours so I can push those jeans down...”

He was quick to cooperate, bereft of Belle’s body over him as she scooted to the other side of him. He was very ready for her as he shoved his trousers down. Belle licked her lips in appreciation.

“Here,” she said. The Bentley came with throw pillows. She motioned for him to lie down across the backseat and put it under his head.

“So, this one doesn’t have the center console?,” he asked.

“No, I pushed it up...” she said, crawling back over him. “It does have a drinks compartment behind there.”

“Really? They didn’t send the model with the sunroof?”

“Well, I think we have plenty of headroom as is, why do you think I picked it?” She kissed him again. “Are you ready or do you want to talk about how much it costs for the jeweled fuel filler cap option? Or does that turn you on?”

“God, Belle, everything about you turns me on...”

She sank slowly down on top of him, moaning as he filled her. The space was luxurious in terms of cars, especially taking into account Belle’s slight frame but she still had to be careful to stay over him, one foot on the floor providing the upward momentum for her to rise up so she could again lower herself. Gold thought himself utterly useless, confined to just straining upward to capture a nipple in his mouth, to worship her with his tongue in any spot he could. He pulled himself together to find her clit above the spot where they were joined. The first brush made her cry out, she was already close so Gold contented himself with indirectly approaching the nub.

“Angus, I’m going to...”

“Go on, sweetheart,” he whispered.

The orgasm washed over her and Belle folded forward over his chest, sliding from him. She panted, the sweat they had worked up steamed the Bentley windows against the chilly autumn night.

Gold, though, was still hard and laying there uselessly. He was just as happy to watch her, Belle in orgasm had to be one of the best sights he had ever seen.

“Belle?,” he asked, not knowing what would follow.

She smiled up at him.

“Sorry, you caught me off guard. I usually don’t come that quick,” she said as kissed him again. “Don’t worry, Angus. I’ve got you.”

Belle pushed herself up using his shoulders for support, not that he could be bothered to give a damn. Her pace was slower, little moans escaping more quickly in her post orgasmic haze and Gold was getting the show of his life. He finally broke hard with a long guttural groan, Belle giving delicate little kisses as he spent himself.

She curled up against his chest as he slipped from her. He felt lighter somehow, but wasn’t sure if that was because the blood hadn’t returned to his brain.

He wasn’t certain it would.

She pressed another kiss to his chin. “You needed that,” she murmured.

“I suppose I did.”

She pillowed her head on his chest.

“Ten thousand quid,” she finally murmured.

“What?”

She looked up at him. “For the extras on this model, elegant driving package, polished wheels and the jeweled fuel filler cap.”

“Bloody hell...” he mumbled. “Does it at least handle?”

“I don’t like the suspension. Handles like a tank.”

“Arses.”

“Massaging seats, though.” Belle’s mouth formed into a grin. “I haven’t had a chance to test them. Keyfob somewhere in here.”

And on that bombshell, Angus began to search for the keyfob to the Bentley. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After last night, I just wrote more smut....

It was a big day. It was the first studio shoot day for Top Gear since Killian’s departure. To add to that little drama, Killian’s new program on ITV was set to premiere the same day the new Top Gear would be transmitted.

Also, Angus hadn’t seen Belle since the Bentley rendezvous. He and David had been off to the Autobahn to compare two of the latest super car offerings. There had been a series of flirty texts which Angus found himself to be about as good at as a crocodile was at running the London Marathon.

Then of course it was Chris Hemsworth day.

Bae had wanted to come meet the star of Thor and Star Trek, but the shoot fell on a school day and the boy had already missed too much that term for an ear infection. As a consolation, Angus had promised that he would get him the star’s autograph. He had actually gone one better and purchased a new Thor poster to be signed. He would get it framed and place it in Bae’s room as a surprise.

Somewhere in his mind Gold hadn’t quite realized Chris Hemsworth was... Chris Hemsworth. That is until he saw the man laughing with his fellow Aussie, Belle.

Hemsworth was standing next to the new Reasonably Priced Car. The Stig stood not far away with his arms crossed as the two Aussies exploded in laughter.

“You didn’t!,” Belle exclaimed.

“Yeah, it was chockers full of bogans...”

Oh, God, they were speaking Australian.

“All aggro with Canadian passports, one malaka he comes up to me and I told him to get stuffed.”

“In a Maccas?”

“Until they followed me to the servo.”

“No!”

Gold decided to clear his throat, to see if that might translate their conversation back to English.

Belle turned towards him, her face lighting up. “Angus!”

“I’m sorry to interrupt.”

“No, no,” said Belle. “We were just talking. Chris, this is Angus.”

Chris went to shake Angus’ hand and nearly him along with it.

“Really pleased to be here, mate.”

Angus tried to regain his composure as his hand had been crushed. “Well, we’re delighted to have you.”

“Gotta say, I’m a big fan, ever since the old days. I was worried after the Christmas special you lot had finally had it.”

“Well, nothing can really kill Top Gear except a determined BBC executive and luck for us Strictly Come Dancing is on a hiatus so they had no choice.”

Chris laughed, slapping Gold on the back. “Well, glad I can be here for a fellow Aussie’s first episode.”

“Oh, you’re too sweet,” said Belle. She looked at the poster in Angus’ hand. “Did you have something?”

Angus looked down. “Right, sorry. My son, Bae. He’s a big Avengers fan. I was wondering if you might-”

“Sign something? No worries, mate.”

Gold unfurled the poster and Chris signed it with Bae’s name. The Stig pointed at his watch and it was time for the star to get back in the Reasonably Priced Car. Angus went back to his trailer, surprised when he heard the door lock behind him.

He turned to see Belle.

“He’s really such a sweetheart,” said Belle. “He showed me about a hundred pictures of his daughter and his wife.”

“Oh.”

Belle walked over and wrapped her arms around Gold’s neck.

“Did you forget he was married? Your interview research leaves a bit to be desired, Gold.”

“I was more interested in his car history.”

“Hmmm...” She smiled. “I missed you.”

“Did you?”

“Yeah, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. It’s a problem I have, a very serious one...” She licked her lips. “Did you miss me?”

He had. Every since their third round in the Bentley he couldn’t get his mind off how Belle felt, how warm she was, how soft...

“Yes,” he breathed. 

“Then what are we standing here for?”

She smashed her lips to his and he pulled her closer as he went falling back to the trailer’s old sofa. His cane went flying. She ended up crawling on top of him as he moved his hands up her thighs ending up under another very short skirt as he massaged the globes of her ass, barely covered by some scrap of lace as far as he could feel.

Belle kissed him again as she went for the buttons on his white shirt.

“Is this the same shirt or do you have a dozen?,” she asked idly. She looked up at him. “Mind if I wear it?”

He was speechless, not knowing the suave way to respond to that as the blood rushed to his cock, but obligingly leaned up so Belle could push the shirt off his arms. He moaned as she stood again.

“I promise it’ll be worth it...”

Belle shucked off her shoes and unbuttoned her own blouse, revealing a scrap of a lace bra as she tossed it aside. She shoved down her skirt revealing the matching lace panties. He desperately held his hand out, beckoning her back and she seemed to oblige, but placed his hand over her mound.

“Do you see what you do to me?”

“Yes...”

“Every night I’ve been thinking about you...”

He began stroking through the lace at her, teasing her nether lips and she hissed softly, pulling away.

“And I was thinking about this shirt...”

Belle unhooked her bra and tossed it with her pile of clothes. She bent back down to get the white shirt, looking at Angus as she paused to give him a full view of her breasts and slid it on.

She pulled the collar to her nose. “God, it even smells better than I thought. Just like you.”

She climbed back on top of him as he grabbed her in a desperate kiss that made her yelp in surprise.

“Forget the bloody shirt...”

“How could I forget this shirt?” She deftly unfastened his jeans and unzipped to find him half hard. She shoved his boxers down and grinned as she stroked him. Angus had no choice but to lay back.

“I bloody love this shirt, Angus. Remember how I told you how you were my little secret?”

“Your dirty little secret...” he groaned in between her strokes.

“I thought about this shirt, ripping it off you, wearing it, even getting tied up in it...”

He frowned. “Tied up in it?”

“I read some very imaginative literature... I’ve wanted to ride you in this shirt for a very long time and we had such a good time in those massaging seats I forgot to ask.”

He was completely hard now, his cock jutting upwards. He grabbed Belle and pulled her forward, for another kiss, moaning against the friction of her body against his erection.

“Mmm, let me help you...” She shoved down his jeans and boxers as he toed off his own shoes. Belle smiled as she kissed her way back up his leg, stopping a bit at his scarred leg.

“Belle, don’t...”

She kissed it again and then continued up.

“How did it happen?”

He grimaced. His balls were about to explode and she was taking her time as she decorated his thighs with little kisses that came achingly close to his cock.

“Motorbike. When I was young and stupid. Bloody thing landed on my leg, crushed it.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Come here.”

Belle did as he bade, straddling him again, their flesh touching but not quite where they wanted to be. He pulled her down to him, pushing aside the fabric of the open shirt so he could catch her nipple in his mouth. He licked around it and took the nipple gently between his teeth, causing her to groan and grind a little, that last scrap of damp lace rubbing against his too hot flesh.

“You said you thought about me...” Belle sighed as he switched sides and played with the free breast in his hand. “What did you think about?”

He broke off. “Oh, Belle.” Angus reached down to shove the gusset of her panties aside, massaging her mound as she ground against his hand. “Everything. Your skin, your eyes, the way you clenched around me, how exquisite you looked when you came. Your screams.”

“Oh, God, Angus...”

Belle pushed herself up enough to shove her panties down and Angus was more than happy to help discard them. She slowly guided herself down on top of him and gasped as he filled her again.

“You feel so good, Angus,” she said beginning to rock.

“Oh, that’s all you, sweetheart...”

She reached down and placed his hands on her hips, moving to her own rhythm. Angus watched mesmerized as the little sounds she made went in turn with his own groans, the bounces of her perky breasts and the show of her nipples peeking out from his shirt. God, his shirt. He wanted to wrap himself around her, worship every inch of her, but it seemed that she was in charge this time.

Hell, if she was in charge every time, that would be fine. Anything to watch her face.

“Oh, Angus...”

He could tell she was on the brink and he took the moment to dig his hands into her ass and hold her still as he began quickly thrusting up into her.

“Oh, God, yes! Yes!”

She came falling forward as he continued to thrust.

“God, Angus, that was so good, baby...” She kissed his chest frantically. “Come, Angus, come for me...”

She tweaked his nipple between her teeth and that was the finally straw, making him spill into her. Belle provided soft little thrusts as he emptied out completely.

They lay in a sweaty heap on the sofa, their hearts finally slowing as they rested.

“We’ve got to do that more...” said Belle.

“Yeah.”

She laid down with his head next to his. “What are you doing after the show?”

“I’ve got to drive back to London and see Bae before his bedtime.”

“Oh. Never mind then,” she smiled. “We’ll have another chance.”

“You don’t shoot tomorrow, do you?”

“No. I’ve got to be on The One Show, but that’s it.”

“Could I come over to your place?”

She smiled. “Are you asking to make a day of it?”

“If you don’t mind.”

She shook her head. “Why would I mind? It sounds fantastic.”

Belle kissed him again. He groaned and felt like round two might have been coming, but...

“Gold!”

There was a banging on the door as Regina shouted.

Belle froze, her eyes wide.

“Gold!”

He cleared his throat. “What is it, dearie?!”

“Zelena Green is here! What the hell are you doing?!”

“Having a nap! What the bloody hell is your sister doing here?!”

“Ruining my life! I need you out here!”

“I need a shower! And then probably one after I talk to her!”

“Hurry up! And have you seen Belle anywhere? I can’t find her.”

“I’ll let you know, dearie!”

Regina cursed incoherently as they heard her walk away and raced back to their clothing.

“Why is Regina’s sister here?,” asked Belle.

“She’s a BBC executive,” said Angus. “She hates Top Gear, she was one of the ones who just tried to get it cancelled.”

“Why would she do that?”

“Because she’s one of the BBC executives who hates programming that’s even mildly amusing.”

And on that bombshell, Angus found his boxers. 


	7. Chapter 7

  
It was the week after Top Gear’s series premiere that Zelena summoned Regina, Belle and Angus to Broadcasting House for an urgent matter. After successfully navigating the maze to her eco-friendly, fair trade office, the meeting could finally begin.

“Angus, darling, how are you?”

He grimaced. “Zelena.”

“Why don’t you two have a seat...” Zelena looked up brightly. “Can I get you anything, Angus? Tea, croissant, danish pastry-”

Regina rolled her eyes. “Get to it.”

“How terribly unpleasant.”

“Exactly how I feel.”

“What is going on?,” asked Angus. “I thought ratings were good for the premiere, even accounting for the sequined has beens.”

“That’s not the problem, the problem is you two.”

“Us?,” asked Belle.

“Zelena...”

“People are shipping you.”

Angus had as much idea of what Zelena was saying as a dog does when you begin talking about NHS cutbacks.

“They are?,” asked Belle.

“I still don’t understand what it is,” said Angus.

Belle turned carefully. “Well, Angus, it’s when people think other people should be in a romantic relationship. Usually, it’s just fictional characters, I used to watch this one show Enchanted Forest-”

“It’s not just that!,” Zelena screeched, hitting a button so a picture projected on the conference room screen. “They’ve been doing manips!”

Gold looked. It was just them kissing.

“Well, that’s not so-”

Zelena moved to the next photo which involved Belle, Angus and some acrobatics on the hood of a Ford GT.

“Okay, that’s not even physically possible,” said Angus.

She flipped through an imaginative assortment, most featuring similar gymnastics and supercars.

“Well, this fandom really brought it, didn’t they?,” Belle mused.

“I don’t see how this is a laughing matter. Your fanfic tag already has two hundred fics, half of them are rated explicit.”

“I’m sorry, I just don’t see what you want us to do about it?,” Belle asked. “We can’t stop people shipping us.”

“I agree,” said Regina.

“You can try and stop them, but then we look ridiculous, but if people think we screw around in a Rolls Royce, I don’t see how we can stop them,” said Belle.

Regina frowned. “I didn’t see a Rolls in there.”

“That was just an example,” Belle said quickly. “Unless Angus has some problem with it...”

“Did people ship Clarkson with people?”

“Mostly with May,” said Belle.

Zelena scowled. “And you know this how?”

Belle rolled her eyes. “Haven’t you ever been bored?”

“I still think we should make some sort of statement.”

“What? That we’re not sleeping together? That seems like a very good way to convince everyone we’re doing just that,” said Angus.

“I agree with Angus,” said Regina. “This whole meeting is ridiculous. Belle could obviously do better than this idiot.”

Angus frowned.

“That’s not very nice, Regina,” said Belle.

“I’m sorry, but let’s be realistic here...” said Regina. “Come on.”

“I don’t think that’s true,” said Zelena.

“He set a pool on fire,” Regina shot back.

“Alright, well no one said it was flammable,” said Gold.

“It probably wasn’t until you drove your challenge car into it.”

Belle giggled. Angus looked at Zelena.

“Are we done here? Or does the BBC continue to want to waste our time on something more inane like our carbon footprint or the driving quiz?”

“Well, now that you mention it, Belle still hasn’t done her online driving module.”

Belle frowned. “But I’ve been driving here for weeks? Not to mention since I was thirteen?”

“We still need it for insurance purposes,” said Zelena.

And on that bombshell, it was time to end the meeting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just putting out there that I'm putting this fic up for Best TV AU so if you are so inclined and are on tumblr, please consider nominating it.


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